The Funhouse of Sherlock Holmes and Mrs Marple
by jerrysgirl67
Summary: What happens when there is a murder mystery at Forks High School? Bella, Edward and the gang to solve it before the murderer gets them first A/U A/H Please be kind, this is my first FF. Rated for language, some violence and who knows what else.
1. Pleading Pixies

'Please, please, PLEASE!!!' Alice's whispering is distracting me from my trig homework.

'Miss Brandon, is there something you would like to share with the class?' BUSTED

'No sir'

I couldn't hold in my chuckle, earning an evil glare from my best friend. That's what she gets for trying to convince me to go to the annual Forks High School Halloween Extravaganza.

Alice leaned over and dropped the crumpled piece of notebook paper on my desk. Looks like she is starting a written assault on me now.

_PLEASE. Bella, you have to come. Just think of the fun we'll have shopping for our costumes._

That earned an eye roll. She knows I absolutely HATE shopping.

_Jasper will probably be there and you know how MUCH I am crushing on him. Maybe you could get Mike or even better...EDWARD to ask you to dance. _

Three statements in that last sentence nearly had me on the floor. First, Mike Newton? I would rather slather myself in lamb's blood and throw myself to a pack of hungry wolves. Second, Edward Cullen? Granted, he is totally gorgeous and my biology partner, but beyond that...please, the boy barely acknowledges my existance. Finally, dancing? Is this girl on crack?!?!

I steal a glance at Alice's pleading eyes and carefully try to compose some sort of excuse to why I can't go. Yep, fresh out!

'Fine'

She started jumping up and down in her chair.

That stunt earned us detention that afternoon.


	2. Yay! It's party time

Chapter 2

'Hey Chief Swan!'

'Hey girls. Wow, look at those costumes.'

I can't believe she guilt tripped me into this. Here I am wearing a pirate costume (not the skanky one Alice wanted me to buy), trying to not run into things while wearing this damn eye patch. Does she not realize that its hard enough for me to walk around with both eyes open?

'Thanks Chief Swan!' Alice swirled around in her Tinkerbell outfit. It really was so fitting, considering she was 5 foot nothing, a hundred pounds soaking wet and had the stamina of the the Energizer Bunny.

'Thanks Dad.' Save me Charlie, SAVE ME!!!

'Well, I won't keep your girls. You don't want to be late for the party.' Damn you Charlie, DAMN YOU!

I plaster the patented fake "YAY! Bella is sooo THRILLED" smile on my face as Alice pulled me toward the door.

'Hey Bells...' Damn, I just ran into a chair, or a table. I HATE this eye patch!

'Yeah Dad?' Please.....change your mind about letting me go!!!

'Be home by midnight. We don't want the vampires and werewolves to get you.' The smirk on his face made me want to punch something.

'Sure thing' Gag me!

Somebody please help me, I can only see disaster laying ahead tonight.


	3. Halloween in Forks, its killer!

**Yay!!! My chapters are getting longer!!!**

Chapter 3

The Party Planning Commitee really outdid themselves this time. The gym of Forks High was lit with omnious red lights and fog machines everywhere. For some reason Eric felt it was necessary to play "Werewolves in London". Joy!

Alice was jumping up and down to see if she could see the object of her affection, Mr Jasper Hale. The kid kinda creeped me up, it always looked like he had a toothache or a stick shoved up his...

'There he is! Oh he is too cute!' Alice spotted him.

Jasper was dressed as a soldier, looking bored as his gorgeous twin sister Rosalie was flirting with Emmett Cullen, the captain of the football team. Oh yeah...it was a match made it heaven, she was a model who was the star of the basketball team and he was the hugest guy in the school. She flipped the hair of her black wig over her shoulder as he readjusted the vampire "fangs" in his mouth.

'Should I go over and talk to him?'

'Go for it girl, he looks like he may go into a coma if his has to watch the perfect couple slobber all over each other one more minute'

'Wish me luck!' Alice gave me a huge hug and proceded to flit through the dancing couples on the floor.

I stood watching my friend's progress with her "Future Husband" when somebody cleared their throat behind me.

'Mike, I told you I DO NOT...' I turned around and made contact with a pair of emerald eyes.

'First, I don't know if I should be offended by you calling me Mike. Second, you do not do what?' Shit, I am face to face with...I moved my eye patch and did a once over of his costume..

'You're dressed up as Harry Potter?'

'I'm not Harry Potter...see...no glasses.' Edward gestures to his eyes, then lifted his hair ' And no scar.' He flashed a dazzling smile at me.

'Then who, may I ask...are you? Hermoine, perhaps?" He rolled his eyes and gave a chuckle.

'No Miss Swan....or should I say Capt Jack Sparrow.' Asshole... 'Besides, I asked you a question first.'

I can't believe this guy...so in an act of evasion, I started walking toward the punch table. I hope this stuff is spiked. After all those biology classes and he FINALLY acknowledges me outside the classroom while I am dressed up as Long John Silver. Greaaaat!

'Are you gonna answer me.' Shit, he is not giving up

'Dance! I don't dance. Now answer my question, who are you supposed to be?'

'You don't dance, everybody can dance. You just have to wiggle your hips a little.' I turned around and shot him daggers.

'Ahem, I answered your question...or do you forget how this game is played?'

He ran his fingers through his hair...'Um...Cedrick Diggery?'

'You sick bastard...you came as a dead wizard?'

'Emmett says I look like the guy in the movie...' You have to be shitting me.

'Does you brother dress you and feed you too?' I was making my way to the hallway, desperate to get rid of my rather hot, incredible sexy yet annoying puppy.

'Come on, you gotta admit I pull this outfit off'

'Yeah...sure, I kinda see...'

There was yelling and the sound of crashing metal that came from down the hallway that cut me off.

Edward started running down the hallway to see what the commotion was all about and was nearly ran over by Emmett and Rosalie.

'What the hell are you guys doing?' I tried getting their attention, but I guess I am still invisible...great. I started running after them and nearly got hit in the face with an opening door.

'What is going on...oh god, Bella! I am so sorry!' Alice peeped out from the janitor's closet followed by another set of eye. You're kidding...she got Jasper Hale in the janitor's clos...

'I'm gonna kill you! You son of a...'

'Alice, we gotta get down there before some gets hurt' I motioned my head towards the area of yelling.

'Okay, are you coming Jazz?' They're up to pet names....screw it I got get down there. I grabbed Alice by the arm and sprinted toward the noises.

We reached shop classroom and were stopped by the 3 awaiting figures who were peering around the corner of the door. Creeping up, I wiggled between Edward and Emmett when

*BANG*

The flash from the muzzle illuminated the room and its occupants then went dark. We all heard the thump of a body hitting the floor.

'SHIT!!!"

*BANG*

The glass of the window behind us exploded into a million shards. It took us a second to realize the killer was shotting at us.

Edward grabbed my arm, and I in turn grabbed Alice's.

'RUN!'

I knew I should never, ever, EVER come to ANY school function.


End file.
